My big black dog

Happy New Year! In past years I have started each of my posts with an apology for how long it's been since my latest update. For people who follow any of my Facebook pages you'll know that I've pretty much neglected my online presence for a while and today I want to explain why. I'm not writing this for sympathy, I just want to settle the score.

I'll start by bringing your attention to a video that is so perfectly created I cried my way through the first time watching it; I had a black dog, his name was depression. I have depression. Although I don't use my Black Dog as an excuse there are times when he is so over whelming and I can't face the world. This is where I disappear off to.

When I picked up writing last year I had so many hopes and ambitions but never put any of them into practice. Working from home sometimes means I get caught up more in my personal life and people forget that just because I’m at home it doesn’t mean I’m free all the time. I try really hard to keep my work separate but I got into unhealthy relationships that gave my self esteem a pretty nasty knock. At the end of the summer I referred myself back into therapy and for the first time in my life I felt happy. I started to make plans for the future. I was confident not only in myself but in my work. This was short lived though. Over Christmas my Black Dog was at his most ferocious yet, almost as if he was rebelling to the fact that for once I was in control.

New Year is always a time for fresh starts and new chapters in your book of life. I can’t promise that this year I’ll write everyday because chances are I won’t. What I can do is try to be more open and share my experience. I don’t want to turn my blog into a place for me to rant, far from it! I want to show off my love of my work and hopefully get to know my followers more.
Here’s to an amazing 2015! Until next time, Jxx